if randomchoice= 1 then randjoke= "I can\'t find it, REALLY MEANS, It didn\'t fall into my outstretched hands, so I\'m completely clueless."  
if randomchoice= 2 then randjoke= "It\'s a guy thing, REALLY MEANS, There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it" logical. ","
if randomchoice= 3 then randjoke= "That\'s women's work, REALLY MEANS, It\'s dirty, difficult and thankless."  
if randomchoice= 4 then randjoke= "Will you marry me\? REALLY MEANS, Both my roommates have moved out, I can\'t find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter."  
if randomchoice= 5 then randjoke= "It would take too long to explain, REALLY MEANS, I have no idea how it works."  
if randomchoice= 6 then randjoke= "I\'m getting more exercise lately, REALLY MEANS, The batteries in the remote are dead."  
if randomchoice= 7 then randjoke= "We\'re going to be late, REALLY MEANS, Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."  
if randomchoice= 8 then randjoke= "Take a break, honey, you\'re working too hard, REALLY MEANS, I can\'t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."  
if randomchoice= 9 then randjoke= "That\'s interesting, dear, REALLY MEANS, Are you still talking\?"  
if randomchoice= 10 then randjoke= "Honey, we don\'t need material things to prove our love, REALLY MEANS, I forgot our anniversary again."  
if randomchoice= 11 then randjoke= "You expect too much of me, REALLY MEANS, You want me to stay awake."  
if randomchoice= 12 then randjoke= "It\'s really a good movie, REALLY MEANS, It\'s got guns, knives, fast cars, and naked women."  
if randomchoice= 13 then randjoke= "You know how bad my memory is, REALLY MEANS, I remember the words to the theme  song of \'F Troop\', the address of the first girl I" "kissed," "the Vehicle Identification Number of every car I\'ve ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
if randomchoice= 14 then randjoke= "I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses, REALLY MEANS, The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe, wearing a" "thong." ","
if randomchoice= 15 then randjoke= "Oh, don\'t fuss. I just cut myself. It\'s no big deal, REALLY MEANS, I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before" I admit "I\'m hurt."
if randomchoice= 16 then randjoke= "I do help around the house, REALLY MEANS, I once threw a dirty towel near the laundry basket."  
if randomchoice= 17 then randjoke= "Hey, I\'ve got reasons for what I\'m doing, REALLY MEANS, I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."  
if randomchoice= 18 then randjoke= "What did I do this time\? REALLY MEANS, What did you catch me doing\?"  
if randomchoice= 19 then randjoke= "She\'s one of the rabid feminists, REALLY MEANS, She refused to make my coffee."  
if randomchoice= 20 then randjoke= "I heard you, REALLY MEANS, I haven\'t the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough" so that "you don\'t spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
if randomchoice= 21 then randjoke= "You really look terrific in that outfit, REALLY MEANS, Please don\'t try on another outfit. I\'m starving."  
if randomchoice= 22 then randjoke= "I brought you a present, REALLY MEANS, It was free ice scraper night at the game."  
if randomchoice= 23 then randjoke= "I missed you, REALLY MEANS, I can\'t find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper."  
if randomchoice= 24 then randjoke= "I\'m not lost. I know exactly where we are, REALLY MEANS, No one will ever see us alive again."  
if randomchoice= 25 then randjoke= "This relationship is getting too serious, REALLY MEANS, I like you as much as I like my truck."  
if randomchoice= 26 then randjoke= "We share the housework, REALLY MEANS, I make the messes. She cleans them up."  
if randomchoice= 27 then randjoke= "I don\'t need to read the instructions, REALLY MEANS, I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help."  
if randomchoice= 28 then randjoke= "MEN ARE LIKE...placemats - they only show up when there\'s food on the table."  
if randomchoice= 29 then randjoke= "MEN ARE LIKE...mascara - they usually run at the first sign of emotion."  
if randomchoice= 30 then randjoke= "MEN ARE LIKE...bike helmets - they\'re good in emergencies but usually just look silly."  
if randomchoice= 31 then randjoke= "MEN ARE LIKE...government bonds - they take so long to mature."  
if randomchoice= 32 then randjoke= "MEN ARE LIKE...lava lamps - fun to look at it but not all that bright."  
if randomchoice= 33 then randjoke= "MEN ARE LIKE...bank accounts - without a lot of money they don\'t generate a lot of interest."  
if randomchoice= 34 then randjoke= "MEN ARE LIKE...high heels - they\'re easy to walk on once you get the hang of it."  
if randomchoice= 35 then randjoke= "MEN ARE LIKE...curling irons - they\'re always hot and always in your hair."  
if randomchoice= 36 then randjoke= "MEN ARE LIKE...mini skirts - if your not careful they\'ll creep up your legs."  
if randomchoice= 37 then randjoke= "MEN ARE LIKE...handguns - keep one around long enough and your gonna want to shoot it."  
if randomchoice= 38 then randjoke= "Domino vobiscum --- The pizza guy is here."  
if randomchoice= 39 then randjoke= "Auda similarum ad seattles --- They all sound just like Pearl Jam."  
if randomchoice= 40 then randjoke= "Sharpei diem --- Seize the wrinkled dog."  
if randomchoice= 41 then randjoke= "Nucleo predicus dispella conducticus --- Remove foil before microwaving."  
if randomchoice= 42 then randjoke= "Il guyus nissanem iste ickye --- That Nissan guy gives me the creeps."  
if randomchoice= 43 then randjoke= "Bodicus mutilatimus, unemploymi ad infinitum --- Better take the nose ring out before the job interview."  
if randomchoice= 44 then randjoke= "Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum --- A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down you" r pants. ","
if randomchoice= 45 then randjoke= "Motorolus interruptus --- Hold on, I\'m going into a tunnel."  
if randomchoice= 46 then randjoke= "Veni, vidi, Pesci --- I came, I saw, I moidered da bum."  
if randomchoice= 47 then randjoke= "Revelare Pecunia --- Show Me The Money\!"  
if randomchoice= 48 then randjoke= "Ignoramus microsoftis multa pecunia dat --- Yeah, where DO I want to go today\?\?"  
if randomchoice= 49 then randjoke= "Sic semper tyrannus --- Your dinosaur is ill."
if randomchoice= 50 then randjoke= "No Quid Pro Quo --- I\'m Sorry, We\'re All Out of Quid."
if randomchoice= 51 then randjoke= "Cavaeat humanus sic tofu burritus e toga --- Beware of the man with a tofu burrito in his toga."
if randomchoice= 52 then randjoke= "Nunc Tutus Exitus Computarus --- It\'s Now Safe To Turn Off Your Computer."
if randomchoice= 53 then randjoke= "Veni, Vidi, Velcro --- I came, I saw, I stuck around."
if randomchoice= 54 then randjoke= "Et tu, pluribus unum --- The government just stabbed me in the back\!"